LIKUD TO FORM RULING COALITION WITH LIBERTARIANS
JERUSALEM -- Following the resignation of Labor Party ministers from Ariel Sharon's government and the dissolution of the Likud Party's coalition in the Knesset, the Israeli Prime Minister plans to maintain control of the nation by forging a narrow alliance with the Libertarian Party, sources said Wednesday.
"It's really a natural team in the making," said Zevi Meyir, chairman of the Israeli Libertarian Party. "For example, the Likud Party champions the population expansion in the West Bank. We're 100% behind that sentiment; we simply advocate the notion that resettlement can be better performed by private enterprise. Given a profit motive, corporations will create ultraconservative armed compounds for us -- without a single taxpayer shekel being spent!"
Meyir also offered his party's solution to the conflict with the Palestinian people. "I don't think anybody's arguing that we need to forgive the terrorists and give them whatever they want," said Meyir. "But, frankly, a massive publicly-funded putsch doesn't do anything except squander money. This sort of conflict can be best settled by the writing of rational, legally-binding personal contracts between individuals. We could have a contract forbidding the use of suicide bombs, for instance, and for those who violate the terms of the agreement there would be stiff penalties."
The Likud party holds 55 of the 120 seats in the Knesset. With the 7 seats held by the Libertarians, Sharon would be able to retain a narrow margin of control over parliament. However, outside observers are doubtful that Sharon can sell his own party on the policy shifts necessary to appease their coalition partners.
"Maybe they could push through the drug legalization plank," observed Layla Schinner of the Jerusalem Post. "Nothing would quiet Netanyahu down quite like a big fatty."
JERUSALEM -- Following the resignation of Labor Party ministers from Ariel Sharon's government and the dissolution of the Likud Party's coalition in the Knesset, the Israeli Prime Minister plans to maintain control of the nation by forging a narrow alliance with the Libertarian Party, sources said Wednesday.
"It's really a natural team in the making," said Zevi Meyir, chairman of the Israeli Libertarian Party. "For example, the Likud Party champions the population expansion in the West Bank. We're 100% behind that sentiment; we simply advocate the notion that resettlement can be better performed by private enterprise. Given a profit motive, corporations will create ultraconservative armed compounds for us -- without a single taxpayer shekel being spent!"
Meyir also offered his party's solution to the conflict with the Palestinian people. "I don't think anybody's arguing that we need to forgive the terrorists and give them whatever they want," said Meyir. "But, frankly, a massive publicly-funded putsch doesn't do anything except squander money. This sort of conflict can be best settled by the writing of rational, legally-binding personal contracts between individuals. We could have a contract forbidding the use of suicide bombs, for instance, and for those who violate the terms of the agreement there would be stiff penalties."
The Likud party holds 55 of the 120 seats in the Knesset. With the 7 seats held by the Libertarians, Sharon would be able to retain a narrow margin of control over parliament. However, outside observers are doubtful that Sharon can sell his own party on the policy shifts necessary to appease their coalition partners.
"Maybe they could push through the drug legalization plank," observed Layla Schinner of the Jerusalem Post. "Nothing would quiet Netanyahu down quite like a big fatty."